Chinese Buffet Foods
By: Kristen Zeimetz
Crab Rangoons
These puppies are a national treasure! Deep fried wonton wraps stuffed with cream cheese and sweet crab meat - it takes every ounce of strength in my body not to take the entire metal tray back to the table with me. These should be a regular menu item everywhere. McDonald’s. Olive Garden. Baskin Robbins. If they sold them, I’d buy them. A+
Lo Mein Noodles
I haven’t met a noodle I didn’t like, and these rarely disappoint. Even when they are cold, they are pretty good. My only complaints are
- You cannot take just a small portion, even if you try, you end up filling 3/4ths of your place with them, and
- I personally make a huge mess service myself these and leave a trail of noodles all over the buffet bar
B+
Egg Rolls
Egg rolls when fried fresh and served hot are amazing, but biting into one has caused me serious mouth burns when the molting hot cabbage on the inside explodes. On the opposite end of the spectrum, they sit a second too long under the heat lamp and they turn into a flaccid, greasy log. I still eat three or four every time, though. C
General Tso’s Chicken
General Tso’s has lost its magic over the years. Back in the day, it was the “spicy” counterpart to Orange Chicken, but lately it seems to teeter more on BBQ flavor than anything. There are far more worthy chicken dishes that win top spot on my plate. C-
Generic Pizza
Every good Chinese buffet has that section of “American” foods that are aimed usually at the elderly or children, who quite frankly just don’t know any better. I am not a picky eater at all (my pants size can confirm that), but the pizza they serve at Chinese restaurants is hands down the worst. Totino’s pizzas would be a better choice, though these aren’t too far off in quality. D-
Desserts
The desserts look very pleasing to the eye from afar, but on closer inspection they are pretty mediocre, and are nearly always the same in every location. Little mocha cake squares, thawed, store-bought cream puffs, giant hard almond cookies, various Jell-O cubes. I rarely save room for dessert, and when I do, I wish I would have just ate more crab rangoons. D+
