Breakfast Foods
Porter Co. Jail Edition
By: Kristen Zeimetz
“Bread”
The square piece of “bread” is confusing because there isn’t really a single other item it goes with. It’s not “toast” and there is no liquidy substance other than oatmeal to dip it in, nor is there jelly or butter. It serves no main purpose other than it fits neatly in the square section of the tray. D
Oatmeal
This is served daily and over the course of the passing months, it has become probably the best part. It’s neither sweet, nor salty, and is filling when mixed with the cake or powdered milk. B-
Pancakes
These sound like they SHOULD be good, and they aren’t “bad”, however, the outer ring of them are almost always rock hard, but with the “syrup” and “sausage”, they are edible. C+
Sausage
Served with above said pancakes, they come with odd “breathing holes” in them and I’m not quite sure if they are actual meat or soy. Either way, they aren’t particularly bad, however, it’s alarming they are always cold. C
Syrup
I ran out of sugar for my coffee one time, and was informed to put the syrup in it. That would be far too thick, I thought. No, it’s not. It’s very liquidy, but sweet nonetheless. B-
Hard Boiled Eggs
These are both infuriating and delightful at the same time. Sometimes the shell cracks perfectly, and others you dick around for 15 minutes digging shell off your eggs. If you can get away with hiding them in your cell after breakfast you can make killer egg salad. B-
“Scrambled” Eggs
I’m pretty sure these are the remnants of the hard boiled eggs, chopped up, microwaved and salted. Not much different than you’d get at Denny’s, so solid effort on these. B
Biscuits & Gravy
Served on Sundays, this is the “bread” with an actual sausage gravy (probably packet and sometimes too salty) on top. Highlight of the week. Not even mad. A-
